Writing since- 5 minutes ago… Ok – 2016. Reading since 2015 when I found myself suddenly stuck on a couch with a newborn baby and daytime TV was REALLY bad…
Retired/active /on hiatus/undecided
I secretly live in these fandoms- SVM / TB probably non-canon since I can no longer remember the canon and cannot bring myself to read or watch either ever again… Well, maybe just a few choice TB scenes starring AS…
Preferred pairings- E/S. Pam wants me to add her too and is demanding to know why she should be paired with someone when she is fabulous all on her own…
I’ll fight to death for – Pam. Don’t get me wrong – Eric and Sookie too – but not Stoopie. Never, ever Stoopie. She’s on her own. And Pam – she’s making me mention her name as frequently as possible because she’s pissed her maker and sparkle-snatch get all the attention when actually she’s the most fun to have around.
You’ll get my updates – Ummmm – well I have two small kids, a pesky job and a pesky husband, and one of said children is kind of a baby so…. Yeah, hopefully I can pull this off and update as frequently as I can.
Make that Thursdays!! Well, Thursday my time, anyway.
My muse is on fire right now – torched by Pam to hurry the fuck up and get to all the good bits about her. I think she’s fairly persuasive, so….. Watch this space. Or maybe the space under the linky bit at the bottom of the page…
The word most used to describe my writing by others – My non-existent readers are strangely silent about my stories.
Pam says the ones about her are awesome.
Wait – now I actually have some followers so I need to change this… I think the best way to describe my writing is to paraphrase Meridian:
“You need drugs. Or alcohol. Or both. Or – or maybe not…”
Hope you don’t mind me quoting you Meridian – even though in fairness it was said about a comment I sent you… Don’t ask about the cuddle monkeys, people.
Languages I write in – SAE (that’s Standard Australian English…pretty much the same as British English or English English or whatever it’s called but definitely some spelling differences to American English).
Pam says English English is the best. I’m not arguing with her. She still has the flamethrower she used on my muse.
Picture up there – courtesy of my 4 year old, AS, a pair of scissors, some glue and a mobile phone! Who needs photoshop when you have kindergarten art?
EPUB/PDF available for download – No
Places to find me –
So many ideas, so little time…
Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or TB and intend no copyright infringement. I make no money out of this, I am just a lowly fan who likes the characters and wishes to make my own stories starring them. Well, some of them – others I reserve the right to ridicule and possibly torture – or at least turn over to Pam for torture… Bill, I’m looking at you. You too, Quinn. Pam is waiting for you in the dungeon with her craft supplies and an obscenely large pile of pink bows…
Recommended Age: 18+
Pammie Dearest: This started as a one-shot but has evolved into something else that defies classification. Perhaps a multi-shot? Starring Pam of course, it is based on an idle thought I had about what kind of letters Pam would write if she somehow ended up taking over Dear Abby… Strangely enough, Hannibal Lecter (the Mads Mikkelsen version) has become a recurring character, having moved into the recently-vacated Chez Compton. Where is Bill, you ask? Well, read on to find out his terrible fate!
There is something rather delightful about writing in first-person Pam POV.
Definitely not for the faint-hearted, the weak of stomach or the easily offended.
It’s All in Your Head: A one-shot again starring Pam as she interrogates a certain blonde who may or may not have had a hand in the disappearance of her vintage Eurovision costumes… Also features her lovely maker in a state of semi-undress…
Bigger on the Inside: A one-shot again starring Pam – this time she is on a mission to retrieve Sookie’s food – and Ginger – from her minivan. But who owns the mysterious identical van next to hers? And why does it have a swimming pool when hers doesn’t?
The New Normal: – complete – A multi-chapter fic loosely set after DEA fiasco…. Possibly some TB cross-over cos I’m damned if I can remember what is or what is not ‘canon’ after reading so many fan-fics…
So Sookie has spawned a child with the shifter (sorry people) but he is sick and mysteriously smells like our favourite vampire, so Sookie starts doing the rounds to get hold of some vampire blood, which sends her back into a certain bar and the arms of a certain Viking vampire. Sookie discovers the hidden consequences of using the cluviel d’or, develops some new dae powers and comes to realise what a hideous litany of mistakes she has made in her life – but instead of rescinding invitations or running away, she does something about it. E/S HEA. Sam dies. Sorry Sam fans. *snicker* Okay, I’m not sorry. And Pam says she is awesome, especially that bit when she staples pink bows to Compton’s ass. And elsewhere.
The ‘True’ Series:
Wow look at that! I still can’t believe it!!!
True Viking – a complete multi-chapter fic that is the first in a series of 3. This is a crossover of SVM and Vikings. This came about when I read the Icelandic sagas about Ragnar and his sons, discovering he had a son named Eirek who died in battle and who was not included in the TV show. Well, what if that son had been none other than our favourite Viking?
Sookie inadvertently uses the cluviel d’or to wish for a normal life with her Viking, only to be hurtled back in time to the 9th century and a little village named Kattegut, ruled by one Ragnar Lodbrok. There, she is enslaved initially, but she has of course caught the eye of Eirek Ragnarsson. There are also a few familiar fairies and vampires in this fic. And Lagertha is kick-ass awesome.
True Vampire– a complete multi-chapter fic that is the second in a series of 3, the follow-on from True Viking. So Eirek has been turned by Appius, only to rise from his grave to have his father Ragnar Lodbrok stake the bastard. But now he is a makerless vampire, Sookie has just given birth to the twins he fathered and there’s a god with a grudge after him – Will Eirek devour Ragnar, or will Ragnar turn him into a weapon? And what about Sookie and those babies?
True Gods – a complete multi-chapter fic that is the third in a series of 3, except now I’ve decided to make it a series of 4. This is a continuation of my SVM / Vikings crossover. Sookie’s powers have waned and after attacking Ragnar to protect her daughter Finna, she disappeared, having been sent back to the future and Dear Old Gran in Bon Temps. But why is Compton hanging around, and how the hell did Ragnar end up as vampire king of half the world? What secret is Freyr keeping that will reveal him as a ‘True Asshole’? And will Eric and Sookie find each other again? (of course they will!) And what the hell has Pam found under Gran’s doormat?
True Queens -a complete multi-chapter fic that is the fourth in a series of 3… Wait, series of 4. This is Lagertha’s tale, exploring her mysterious origins (and by default Eric’s). Just exactly who or what is the famed shieldmaiden’s mother, Thorgerd Shinebright? And what about her freaky aunt Irpa Darkheart? This story will fill in some of the gaps in True Gods such as Ragnar’s rise to power as vampire king of half the world, Lagertha’s turning by her lover Thor and whatever happened to old Queen Sophie Anne and her beloved progeny? Ragnar is of course out to win Lagertha back and resorts to all sorts of foul deeds to do it. Eric, Sookie, Pam etc also appear in the fic, eventually continuing the story beyond the ending of True Gods, and it may or may not involve pirates. Ok, there are pirates – read the prologue. And Pam may or may not fly a pink jolly roger. Actually that’s not in there but I might go back and add it.
Will there be a fifth book in this series of 3? Maybe….
The John-Northman Smith / Alias Series:
The Oncoming Storm: A complete multi-chapter fic – it is a Doctor Who / TB crossover focusing on the episodes “Human Nature” and “Family of Blood” from Season 3…. except I’ve changed it so the tenth Doctor’s companion is Rose and the TARDIS sends them to a little town called Bon Temps in Louisiana as they are chased across time and space by the Family of Blood. The Doctor whips out the Chameleon Arch but it malfunctions – and Eric rises one night to find himself with a sideburned progeny he can’t remember turning… No, it’s not Beehl – I am not that cruel. Set just after the Witch War and I am planning on delving into the ‘oncoming storm’ / darker side of the Doctor with some forays into the Time War and probably an appearance from Captain Jack as well. It will also involve an exploration of just why Sookie rejects Bad-Ass Eric in favour of Castrated Eric – oops, I mean Amnesia Eric – and Sookie finds the Doctor’s fob watch, and what’s up with Thalia and the Doctor, and how the hell does Russell fit into this…. Damn – better stop. Giving too much away!
Bringer of Darkness is the second installment of my TB / Doctor Who crossover. This stroy is told in several parts. Will Pam realise her dream of a pink TARDIS? And how has Thalia ended up on Ancient Gallifrey, betrothed to the Timelord – Great Vampire Godric? Oops just gave that one away – hopefully you already read The Oncoming Storm! Sookie and Eric are back in the Viking era when some shiny, suction-cup wielding aliens pay a visit (Exterminate!) and where has Rose ended up and how will the Doctor save her and everyone else now his TARDIS has exploded in a million pieces? And just what is that sneaky Rassilon up to? And will Niall succeed in his dastardly plan to assimilate Timelord technology as he upgrades the fae into Cybermen? And will he ever find his missing eyeball? Sick of my endless questions? Go read the story and I promise I will stop!
This series will be continued with a 3rd installment.
Through the Mirror Darkly or something like that Series:
The Christmas Fairy AU. No crossovers in sight but very AU. Multi-chapter fic; complete. A complete re-imaginging of the Eric and Sookie story, with a Godric thrown in for good measure. This was written for the Fangbangers Anonymous Advent Calendar 2016. It has Vikings, fairytale motifs, the fall of Rome, time travel, a monstrous Niall, magic mirrors, stone circles and more Christmas than you can poke a stick at. I wanted to explore some of the pagan origins of Christmas, such as the midwinter solstice, also the Roman Saturnalia, the Feast of Fools and the grinches who banned Christmas…oops, Puritans, and let’s not forget Coca-Cola’s now ubiquitous version of Santa. What if Sookie had known Eric from the start? What if the fae could travel through time at will, without consequence, the same way they travel through space? What if Sookie had been locked up in a tower by an evil Niall and gifted with a magic mirror that was in fact a trap?
This series will be continued with Winter’s Shadow, which I will start posting probably around the end of January.
Coming Soon: hopefully…. Game of Thrones crossover. Eric will have a dragon. Also an Outlander crossover… And not to mention my AU FOTS high school story. Yep it’s coming… I promise!